Fighting Uncertainty

All of us have periods in life where we just feel like we are stuck in a valley; And that our life is just in a rut. Being completely transparent, I encountered a season like this during my early twenties.

Growing up I’d always been very introverted. While other kids were roaming the neighborhood playing basketball and other outdoors games, I was perfectly content being in the house, playing with my GI Joe, Transformers, and He-Man action figures. As I grew into my teenage years, I never fell into any kliqs, that sprang up from middle school and high school. I was always friendly towards my other classmates, and had a few kids that I considered friends, but no one really close. Maybe some of this was contributed to me having an eye condition, called Retinitis Pigmentosa; And occasionally being picked on by ignorant kids, because of my visual problems.

After completing my college degree was where I found myself in this valley of depression. For the first time, I was unsure of what the future held for me.

“Where am I going to work? How long is it going to take me to get a job? Will I be treated fairly during the hiring process, because of my disability? Man, I’ve never even had a girlfriend. Will I ever find a female who will love me? I sure do wish I was cool and smooth like [insert person here][.”

Yes, I had accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior at age eleven; And He had proven Himself faithful to me throughout my teenage years, but now at age twenty-two, I was bombarded with depression. I spent many days in my room, sulking over my situation.

My parents, grandmother, and church family would always pray with and for me, and offer me words of encouragement like, “Trust God. God hasn’t brought you this far to forsake you now. God has placed you on this earth for a purpose, and eventually in God’s timing He will make that purpose known to you.”

I was always grateful for their words of encouragement, and had a great appreciation that God had blessed me to be around people who cared about me, and who poured God’s Word into me, but the depression continued to return.

For a full year, I put in applications, and went on various interviews. Rejection after Rejection. Even in the midst of my depression, I came across two scriptures that gave me hope:

Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

I came to realize that the devil was filling my head with these thoughts of uncertainty, in order to keep me in a state of defeat and to distract me from remembering all of the things that God had previously brought me through. With the coaching of the Holy Spirit, I decided that the two scriptures would be the ammunition I would use against the evil one, whenever he began to attack my mind with negative thoughts. The Lord helped me adopt a new mindset of gratitude for what I did have, and ultimately placed an organization in my path that assists people with disabilities in gaining employment.

God did bless me with a job at a Call Center, that I served at for fourteen years. During my time there, the Lord gave me favor with: inbound callers, my fellow coworkers, and with senior management. Other coworkers sought me out, during breaks and lunch periods, for Godly counsel on various issues they were facing in their life. God blessed me with several job promotions into positions where I was able to assist in making decisions which helped the business to run more efficiently and be more profitable. Each morning, I would ask God to be glorified and honored in everything I did.

After fourteen years, as with many businesses there were budget cuts, and I was laid off. This time, even with the uncertainty of what I’d do next, I’d learned from what had happened to me earlier in life.

The devil did show up to attack me with uncertainty, but I’d built up a protective barrier of faith. I didn’t know what the next chapter of my life would bring, but I knew that God had a plan…And I was determined to trust Him.

In the last few years, God led me to start this Blog to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with the lost, and to encourage other believers. In my role as a Christian Life Coach, The Lord has also provided me with opportunities to share my life experiences with young adults, who are stuck in the valley of uncertainty, and tell them that if God can bring me out, He is faithful to do the same for them.

I pray that my testimony has encouraged you, the reader. My depression was a result of feelings of uncertainty, however I know there are those out there who battle depression on a daily basis. Regardless of where your depression stems from, I want to let you know that there is hope. Please don’t suffer in silence. Talk to somebody; And for other people, if somebody tells you that they are depressed, please take the time to listen to them and offer them words of encouragement.

God loves all of us. Jesus tells us that we will experience tribulation in this world, but He has died and risen again, so that His Holy Spirit is available to come into the heart of any person who chooses to receive the gift of salvation, and give that person hope and encouragement.

I invite any person who does not know Jesus Christ as their Savior, to pray to Him in your own words, or you can pray and truly believe in your heart the prayer below:

PRAYER OF SALVATION:
God, I come to you, confessing that I am a sinner.
I Repent of all my wrongdoings, and I ask for your forgiveness.
I now confess that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, died for my sins, and rose again for my justification.
I invite Jesus to; come into my heart, clean up my life, and guide my decisions from this day forward.
Thank You, Jesus for saving me!

If you prayed this prayer, and meant it from your heart, then you are now a part of God’s family. Your name has been written in the Book of Life, and therefore when your mortal life ends you will live forever with Jesus Christ.
Begin studying God’s Word. A great place to start is to read the Gospel of John, then Matthew, then Romans, then Acts. This will give you a foundation of the teachings of Jesus and how He desires that we successfully navigate this mortal life.
I will encourage you to also find a good church home, where the true Word of God is being preached. Always remember that your salvation is not based on politicking with church leaders, how well you dress, how well you sing, how much money you put in the offering pan, etc… Your salvation is built upon your acceptance of Jesus as your personal Savior, and your commitment to growing to know Him more and more each day, through prayer, studying the Bible, and interacting with other “born again” Christians, who sincerely encourage you to grow spiritually.
God Bless You, and if we don’t meet in this mortal life, I pray we will meet in heaven.

22 thoughts on “Fighting Uncertainty

    1. Thanks for commenting. You are so right. I wanted other believers to see that even as Christians, depression can still be a major thorn in our side. I’ve heard several stories of pastors and ministers taking their own lives due to them feeling ashamed of their depression.

      None of us are an island unto ourselves. We all need someone to talk with, and their is no shame in any of us reaching out to a trusted friend, pastor, or professional for help.

      Like

  1. Marques,
    Thank you for sharing such a powerful testimony. I am so grateful that you demonstrated exemplary faith despite the many obstacles Satan tried to put in your path. We both have visual impairments, except I am completely blind. I have been blind with glaucoma since 2011. I have lived through a dark past: Defined by confusion, temper tantrums, and a period of great pain. Fast forward to 2022, you may not actually see me as one who has been through the fire. I am a totally new person compared to where I was in 8th grade. However, there have been periods throughout this school year that my special Ed teachers (I will not say names), whom I’ve had since I lost my eyesight, keep bringing up my past, as if I have not actually changed, although God transformed me greatly during Covid. It’s like every time I try to convince them that my tantrums and my other behaviors are behind me, they find every imperfection and bring up my past. Sometimes, they masquerade it in the package of Christian slang or hint at it indirectly, putting me on the spot. They love to act all angelic, yet they accuse me of the slightest things, which have NOTHING to do with how I was back then. Then, when I confront them, they often try to deny it and lie. They still see the old me that cried her eyes out and ended up in trouble a lot instead of the transformed me who is encouraging others during such national tragedies we have seen since 2020. One time, someone twisted Proverbs 18:21 to shut me up. I believe this is Satan cleverly attempting to lure me back to the old days of having meltdowns and living in bondage, and I will not give in no matter the cost. Please continue to pray that God will continue to strengthen me through this period of testing, and that He will give me divine wisdom and revelation to overcome as I have done throughout the years: in Jesus name!
    Here is my full testimony for reference.
    https://biblical-christianity.com/becoming-a-child-of-the-light

    Like

    1. Hi, Maia

      I read your testimony; And was inspired by it.

      We will just continue to pray for your Special Ed Instructors, but remember regardless of their opinion…God’s view of our life is the only one that truly matters. I am glad that you have supportive parents who raised you in the faith of Jesus Christ. One day, our visual impairments will be a thing of the past, when we are finally able to gaze upon our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Until that day comes, we will continue to utilize the gifts and talents that God has blessed us with to inspire others and witness the Gospel to those who are lost, in hopes that they too will accept God’s gift of salvation.

      Maia, continue to fight the good fight of faith; And be not overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

      Like

  2. Marques, I will add in a bit of humor by saying this: I think Satan’s having his own tantrum instead of me having a tantrum. Lol! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! That’s what we want. Keep that devil having tantrums. He thought he could keep you in bondage, but Jesus Christ has set you free.

      Whenever the enemy starts speaking negativity into your mind, and tries to remind you of your past…Maia, you go ahead and remind Satan of his future. He has a one way trip to the lake of fire & brimstone.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Here’s an impression! Lights, camera, action!
        Me: Praise the Lord! Of my soul (walks with a cane while smiling)
        Satan (having a tantrum): GIVE ME A CHANCE ONE NOOOOOOOWWW!
        Me (keeps singing)
        Satan (bangs on the wall)
        Me (keeps singing)
        Me (posts blog presentation)
        Lady (all angelic): Are you overwhelmed? Come on! (referring to meltdowns)
        Me: But, that was a few years ago! I am not having tantrums.
        Lady: You still have a lot to work on. We did not say you have emotional disturbance. She means, …
        Also Lady (lying): I did not say that! All I was saying is that you have behaviors you need to get rid of. [referring to my past]
        Satan: Yeah!
        Me (grabs the cane and heads to class)
        Also me (in my head): Nice try! You can’t pull that one on me!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I most certainly will continue to pray for you. That yhou will continue to grwo spiritually in the love of Jesus Christ, That God will grant yhou wisdom and discernment to avoid false doctrine, and that many people will be won to Christ through the ministry of you and your friends.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. And thank you for being a Godly counsel in my growing support system. Your prayers are greatly appreciated and well needed. I just have two more weeks, and a whole year, but by the grace of God, I know I will come out of this stronger. I pray that God will continue to use my talents and my passion as an instrument to serving His kingdom. Please continue to pray that I may grow in wisdom and knowledge in this season, and that God will continue to giv me to resist and fight against the wiles of Satan! Team Jesus!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It is important that all of us study the Word of God and ask the Holy Spirit to give us revelation, so that He can help us to rightly dscern when people are twisting the Word for their own agenda.

        I know you mentioned that you were friendly with the teachers in the past, but you might want to avoid getting into arguments directly with your instructors. If the situation ever escalates to the point where you truly feel bullied by these folks, please allow your parents or a local Division of Services for the Blind Counselor to advocate for you.

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s